My coworker has been mad at me for a week and I couldn't figure out why. I asked her what was wrong and in typical fashion she said, "Nothing!" which I recognised as being one of those "lies". But since you can't punch things out of a coworker, I had to let it be. Turns out, unsurprisingly to me, she was mad. At me, of all people. Because she thought I left her a note for her on my desk when she came to cover my lunch.

Frequently I write myself notes throughout the day, things I find funny or things I want to write about, because lately I seem to have the memory of whatever animal has the worst memory - I forget which animal that is. Which is also why I don't remember what I was going to do with the post-it note that said, "SOD OFF." My coworker thought it was a message to her and said, "I had to look up what it meant and then I knew it was written by you because it's foreign." Ooo, foreign intrigue and insults! My specialty. I told her if I was going to insult her I would do it to her face, in her very own language.

You know what name is cool? Lincat. I helped someone with that name today. Frankly I think that name was made up but I couldn't prove it. I had to take her word for it. I'm keeping my eye on her though. I will try not to tell her to SOD OFF, unless I decide to do so.

Do you ever wish you could break out into maniacal laughter in a crowded but silent room and then quickly put your head down and continue working as if nothing had happened? Yeah, me either. What kind of weirdo would do that.

So my mother has fully discovered the internet and the world of blogs this past week. It was just a matter of time before she discovered that the internet was more than Yahoo mail and adorable Youtube videos of praying dogs. She's decided to help me by sending me links to blogs about people who are similarly cursed with gluten allergies.

It's only a matter of time before she finds me, right? I have a low level of terror always coursing through my veins at that thought, a level which could spike immediately as she slowly begins to connect the dots ..."Oh look dear! This girl has celiac disease and is a librarian also! With blonde hair and an insane older sister and...wait a minute. This couldn't be you because of the foul language and the (whisper) breast references...but...that's a picture of your dog, and your cat..." and then she would trail off as she dropped the phone and booked herself the first flight to straight up smash my face into a jelly.

Quick housekeeping note: somehow I was included on a list of the Top 5 Funniest Amateur Blogs on the Web on a very cool website called makeuseof.com. I am definitely an amateur who appreciates being included on that list. Check them out, if you promise not to ditch me for the other probably funnier people on that list. Hello and welcome to any new readers, and a huge thank you to all my old readers who have stuck around for a long time. I love you in very inappropriate ways.

Labels: I'm an amateur, make use of me, sod off